Diplomatic immunity.

If a national embassy is the physical expression of the values of a country overseas, then there must be some truly awful countries in this world.

Most of the embassies in Bangkok are nondescript affairs: small suites in anonymous office blocks; converted houses ill-suited to the task of housing a diplomatic staff; or tacky 1970s monstrosities that were without a doubt hopelessly outdated before the cement was even dry. (Yes, Australia, I am talking about you.)

Happily, as ever, there are exceptions to the majority. Some countries obviously recognise the importance of showing a dignified front to the world, not to mention placing some value on the pride their nationals are able to feel when strolling through the doors of a suitably grand edifice representing their country.

Fittingly, for the European country that was first off the blocks in arriving in Asia, the crème de la crème of ambassadorial style is represented by none other than the Portuguese. It’s impossible to beat a beautiful, high-walled residence that has been on the same site for nigh on two hundred years. The lush location of the Portuguese Embassy on the banks of the Chao Phraya places the Atlantic Republic squarely in the number one spot in this particular ranking.

But before Portuguese readers start breaking out the bacalhau and vinho verde in celebration, they should know that their accolade is a shared one. Their fellow Europeans, the French, can lay claim to an identically beautiful location. Slightly further south than Portugal’s site, the French embassy looks across a perfectly-tended lawn onto the river, affording passengers on river transport the opportunity to gaze longingly at its perfectly-proportioned Doric columns shaded by old tropical palms.

In keeping their beautiful riverside sites, the Portuguese and the French displayed a foresight that the British sadly lacked – and continue to lack. They sold their riverside plot a long time ago in favour of cheaper land in Ploenchit. (Old habits die hard; now they’ve been offered a decent price, they’ve sold most of that plot too, and yet another shopping mall is being built on the land as I write. If they continue the trend, the world’s fourth largest economy will soon be represented in Bangkok by a small prefabricated hut in outer Ladprao. In this listing, the British get zero points.)

The French score extra points for their additional Sathorn Road visa section, coupled with the neighbouring Alliance Francaise. A tropical modernist gem with a café attached open to the general public, and a comprehensive public education programme in French, Thai and English, the Republique Francaise really punches above its weight when it comes to contributing to the cultural life of the city.

Holland, as may be expected from a nation with such a strong design sensibility, offers a positive contribution to the architectural mosaic of Bangkok with a suitably elegant offering. Its main entrance on the wonderfully leafy Soi Tonson – appropriately, requiring a short walk across a canal – the Netherlands Embassy is a decent example of early 90s design and Hollanders could be forgiven for feeling a little pride that their embassy has more to offer in the way of aesthetic appeal than those of many much larger countries (the neighbouring US embassy included).

Another country that clearly recognises the fact that a small population doesn’t have to mean an anonymous diplomatic presence is Singapore. On Sathorn Road, a few hundred metres past the hideous orange Australian offering, the stylishly low-slung Singapore embassy is an exercise in taste and refinement. From the untreated concrete walls with their Tadao Ando-style regular punched holes to the distressed metal and classic typography on the signage, the designers in the island republic clearly have the right books in their reference library. In fact, it can be no coincidence that as soon as the newly-built Singapore embassy opened, the Saudi embassy next door was pulled down and construction began just days after. This sort of healthy international rivalry is more than welcome by the design-minded diplomatic observer.
In Wireless Road, the new Japanese Embassy is not so much a diplomatic facility as an entire neighbourhood. Covering an entire city block and then some, the Japanese must have some very serious business indeed in Thailand to justify such an enormous construction.

Portugal, France, Holland, Singapore, Japan: all worthy competitors. But all, surprisingly, beaten by the newest-built embassy in the city: an embassy representing a country that would normally never in a million years be associated with outstanding modernist architecture.

On the route linking Sukhumvit Soi 49 with Asoke, behind the main Sukhumvit Road and only a few doors away from Spring/Summer, an incredible new construction has been taking shape over the past few months. It would not be out of place in Paris as a gorgeous new state-funded art gallery; it would fit perfectly in Oslo as an airport terminal or hotel. Two stunning glass cubes, a concrete walkway surrounding a rectangular lake, a beautiful manicured lawn and spectacular lighting at night. Luckily for Bangkok residents, it is none of these things: rather, it is, incredibly, the embassy of the Islamic Republic of Iran in Thailand.

They can continue with their dubious nuclear programme; they can elect all the loopy presidents they want; they can make all the belligerent threats to neighbouring countries they see fit. As long as they keep building structures as beautiful as this, all is forgiven.